found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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