I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
