Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
