roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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