check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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