Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
