Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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