I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
