I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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