She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
