There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
