yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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