i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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