i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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