Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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