I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
