oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
