How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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