Is it because I queefed?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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