i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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