So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That's how pantless uber rides happen
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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