So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
