i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wear drunk well.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
