btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
