ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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