Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
