What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
