I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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