So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
