Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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