I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
