Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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