I wish life had little blips of pornography
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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