Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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