it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
