dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.