All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
