he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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