I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.