so explain again why im purple
no
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
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its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
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Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
