Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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  (816): His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court http://tfl.nu/ow7w
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (1396)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head

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  (203): There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go (860): Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head http://tfl.nu/c9x5
  Replies (41) Good night (4923) Bad night (642)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.

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  (405): You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show. http://tfl.nu/4wfw
  Replies (4) Good night (2464) Bad night (902)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

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  (954): a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube http://tfl.nu/f16y
  Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (2960)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.

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  (919): I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life. http://tfl.nu/1v5e
  Replies (33) Good night (1229) Bad night (3288)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  operation have a gay friend backfired

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  (410): operation have a gay friend backfired http://tfl.nu/5i5r
  Replies (35) Good night (983) Bad night (5837)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.

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  (306): I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters. http://tfl.nu/tngh
  Replies (16) Good night (1077) Bad night (8157)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?

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  (765): Did we both pass out talking about cake last night? http://tfl.nu/lgnr
  Replies (10) Good night (4889) Bad night (1046)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3363) Bad night (1338)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night

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  (412): My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night http://tfl.nu/pds9
  Replies (9) Good night (4382) Bad night (1449)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.

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  (928): I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos. http://tfl.nu/xt2r
  Replies (23) Good night (4423) Bad night (944)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..

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  (203): I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground.. http://tfl.nu/w7v0
  Replies (2) Good night (1227) Bad night (658)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

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  (850): You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets. http://tfl.nu/bxsc
  Replies (6) Good night (1160) Bad night (551)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.

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  (404): Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world. http://tfl.nu/lt97
  Replies (8) Good night (429) Bad night (820)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.

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  (804): Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes. http://tfl.nu/3uah
  Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (287)

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