So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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