Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.

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(704): She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone. http://tfl.nu/3kwt

Replies (42) Good night (891) Bad night (3728)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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(501): he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date??? http://tfl.nu/obkl

Replies (30) Good night (6533) Bad night (1329)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Where else am I to apply my creativity?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.

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(303): Where else am I to apply my creativity? (1-303): I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start. http://tfl.nu/ttid

Replies (5) Good night (3244) Bad night (938)
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(410): View more from Maryland

He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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(410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh

Replies (62) Good night (7637) Bad night (1738)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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(504): Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie http://tfl.nu/6e1s

Replies (13) Good night (4595) Bad night (1272)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I stole so many things from the ER last night.

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(309): I stole so many things from the ER last night. http://tfl.nu/lt6b

Replies (10) Good night (2730) Bad night (1078)
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(940): View more from Texas

Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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(940): Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/bomc

Replies (14) Good night (4232) Bad night (1019)
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(248): View more from Michigan

So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?

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(248): So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone? http://tfl.nu/dwpt

Replies (1) Good night (1014) Bad night (533)
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(520): View more from Arizona

He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".

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(520): He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home". http://tfl.nu/zprh

Replies (8) Good night (1930) Bad night (1074)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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(319): I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks. http://tfl.nu/32c2

Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (429)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me

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(970): Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me http://tfl.nu/8oqe

Replies (3) Good night (1641) Bad night (437)
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(702): View more from Nevada

This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.

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(702): This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there. http://tfl.nu/l8ar

Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (473)
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(850): View more from Florida

I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.

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(850): I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons. http://tfl.nu/n48b

Replies (6) Good night (1313) Bad night (383)
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(850): View more from Florida

So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up

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(850): So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up http://tfl.nu/mg00

Replies (3) Good night (303) Bad night (667)
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(585): View more from New York

When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.

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(585): When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME. http://tfl.nu/uv1z

Replies (4) Good night (1265) Bad night (345)

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