No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.