You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
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If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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