I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it hurts more in the daytime
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
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the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"