her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
