I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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