Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
