I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
