things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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