I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
