did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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