was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
