I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
