I cockslap morals
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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