this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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