You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
