So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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