i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
what day is it and did you see me today?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
