is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
