just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
