I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
