I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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