dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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